BangMiles

Peer reviewed by no one
Ready
How far have you actually gone?
Enter your numbers. Get a mileage. Feel things.
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—
Enter your values below and hit Calculate.
Barely warmed upProper cardioLogistics Legend
Real-world comparisons
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Stored locally on your device only. Never sent anywhere.
Parameters
Length be brave
in
Be as honest as your conscience allows.
Unit pick your poison
Switching units won't change the truth.
Monthly endeavours per month
× /mo
›Advanced settings
Thrusts / endeavour
Default 600 — actual peer-reviewed average.
Month counting argue less
Inclusive counts any month you touched.
Nickname optional
Local only. Extra embarrassment in verdict.
Auto-calculate live
Updates as you type, 300 ms debounce.
Breakdown
›Show the maths
Global Leaderboard
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Calculation log
No calculations yet — results auto-save as you go.
›About & FAQ
Is my data private?
Everything stays on your device. BangMiles stores nothing server-side except what you explicitly submit to the leaderboard (miles total and display name only — no settings, no dates, no IP addresses). Your calculation history, anniversary date, and settings live entirely in your browser's localStorage and never leave your device.
Where does the 600 thrusts figure come from?
Levin & Wagner (2003) and a widely-cited study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (2008) both put the average thrust count per session at around 500–600. It's peer-reviewed, which makes it simultaneously the most and least impressive citation we've ever used.
Is any of this accurate?
No. The calculator is a novelty. The calorie estimates use generic MET values, the thrust count is an average of averages, and the mileage assumes perfectly consistent sessions. It's a fun number, not a medical measurement. Do not present it to your GP.
How do I remove my score from the leaderboard?
Email hello@bangmiles.com with your display name and approximate submission date. We'll remove it within 48 hours. There's no account system, so we can't automate this yet.
Who made this?
BangMiles is a ridiculous side project, hosted by Teklan Hosting. Peer reviewed by no one. Use responsibly. Or don't.